August 27, 2019

15,838        Days lived

233             Days gone


My sister was born 16,071 days ago.  She died 233 days ago.

233 days ago,  my world was shattered.  My sister was so much to me.  She was my security, my confidant, my friend, and so much more.  It never occurred to me that I would ever have to live a life without her.  Now, I do and I don't like it.  If I had my way, I would leave my life completely and live a life of seclusion. I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to interact with people and I don't want to deal with people.  I would like to be able to go to work, go home and never talk to another living soul.

Why?  because it is too hard.  I never say the right thing or do the right thing and it would be so much easier if I didn't have to try.  Ive been trying to say and do the right thing my whole life and still fail every day.   I am over it.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I want an isolated life with no interaction.