Tuesday, August 27, 2019

August 27, 2019

15,838        Days lived

233             Days gone


My sister was born 16,071 days ago.  She died 233 days ago.

233 days ago,  my world was shattered.  My sister was so much to me.  She was my security, my confidant, my friend, and so much more.  It never occurred to me that I would ever have to live a life without her.  Now, I do and I don't like it.  If I had my way, I would leave my life completely and live a life of seclusion. I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to interact with people and I don't want to deal with people.  I would like to be able to go to work, go home and never talk to another living soul.

Why?  because it is too hard.  I never say the right thing or do the right thing and it would be so much easier if I didn't have to try.  Ive been trying to say and do the right thing my whole life and still fail every day.   I am over it.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I want an isolated life with no interaction.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Relational Christianity

I have really been thinking about the way I live my life and the hard times I have been having.  I want to have a better relationship with God, but am turned off by going to church!  This inspired me to do some footwork on the internet.  I revisited one of my favorite sites, lifestream.org.  I have started listening to the audios under the category Transition.  Good Stuff!  The Key to "relational Christianity" is LOVE, not principles! 

I have also discovered jakecolsen.com!  Another great man, led by God to reteach Christians about being in relationship with Father!  I am excited as I renew my relationship with Father on this journey!  I don't have to attend services, follow ritual and be a part of a group that shuns others!  I can grow with God with my family at home!  I can become more like Jesus, just by being in relationship with Him!  Stay tuned...more to come!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Curious As A Cat

Another Great Meme borrowed from Dena

1) If you had to experience one trauma your mother has gone through so that you could better understand her, what would you choose?
Experiencing her childhood with my Grandmother as a mother would definitely make it easier to understand her. My Grandmother suffered childhood trauma that made it very hard for her to be loving & affectionate & it must have been hard to have her for a Mommy.

2) What is the most revolting combination of colors you can imagine? green & orange

3) If you could punish the most difficult person at your workplace, what would you do, and to whom? I don't work close enough with any co-workers to feel any way about them, but if a person really pisses me off, I would like them punished by getting a dose of their own medicine.

4) What is the thing you know the most about? me