I have faced death before, but now that I have Jaxon, any possible threats to my life are a thousand times more horrifying. I may be over-reacting, but then again, maybe not! Wednesday afternoon, I collapsed while getting ready to go out for Valentines day. Brady gave me a hug (and not a bear hug) and the next thing I knew, he was calling my name, and I felt like I was waking from a deep sleep. I had fallen to the ground and was totally out for about 10 seconds. We went to the clinic, and the only thing that showed up was low blood pressure. I continue to have symptoms of low blood pressure, and am getting worried! It may be exhaustion, but could also be something more serious, like a brain tumor. I am not allowed to work or drive until I see the Doctor again. I hope it is nothing!!!
I am scared that I will miss out on seeing my precious little boy grow into a man. I have waited so long to have this little guy, and now there is a chance that I may miss out on all of his important life moments. I want to see him walk, start school, graduate, and all the little things in between. I have so many things I want to teach him. I want him to know that he is enough, and that there is somebody in this world who loves him for him, and not for his accomplishments. I want him to know the importance of spreading joy to everybody you meet. I also want to spend lots of time laughing and loving him. I hope that I get that chance. These last couple of days with him have been even more special to me, and I didn't ever think that was possible. I cherish all the time I get with my incredible little boy, and all I want is to share in his life . . for a very long time!
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A place to share my life, my dreams and the feelings I have about it all!
3 comments:
You need to change your thinking RIGHT THIS INSTANT! Focusing on all the things that can be wrong may actually call it to you. Instead, think positively -- that you WILL be fine, that you WILL see Jaxon grow up. You have had health problems before (much more serious than low BP), and you came through with flying colors, and you came through much stronger and more appreciative of every little daily detail. You are fine. You are healthy and strong. You have NOTHING to worry about.
*hugs you* I will keep saying all that to you until you can say it to yourself -- and BELIEVE it.
You are SO Right! Thank you! I will say "I Will be fine & I will see Jaxon grow up! I appreciate the inspiring words!!! *hugs* back at ya!
Jennifer, there are so many things that could be causing your low blood pressure. You are a very healthy strong person and you will be around to complain to me when Jaxon is being a beastly teenager!!!
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